What do you do when people keep leaving you?
No matter what you say, if breaking up was at one point of time, the best decision for you, then we shouldn’t be together. Because even when i was so damn angry, even you pissed the hell off of me, i didn’t ask for a break up. Why i drag time? IT’S BECAUSE BREAKING UP WASN’T A DAMN OPTION FOR ME TO BEGIN WITH.
& this is the second time.
If you think that you can just break up and things will fall into place, you’re damn wrong. To think that you thought it was possible, made me feel so bloody cheap. What kind of girl am i to you? No really. Already having a huge self-esteem issues to start with, and you do this kind of shit to me.
If breaking up was an option to you months ago, is an option for you now, then what the fcuk is this relationship for? Because 2, 5 or 10 years down the road, you can just ask me for a breakup, and i don’t think i want to stick around for this.
I didn’t want you to leave, i was going to tell you, but you couldn’t wait. After my 16 months of waiting for you to make a decision, holding all my damn insecurities, believing in what you think is right, you broke apart within a month. Is that fair for me? But you always do what YOU think is right, so whatever. After it blew up in our faces, you still expect so freakn much for me.
To hell with your “won’t ever let you go”, “i love you” cause if breaking up proves all that, i don’t need you.
I don’t freaking need you.
Nothing like “i will wait for you to forgive me” or “i will wait for you to get back with me” can change my mind. I don’t believe you anymore.
It sucks that the 22 months is for nothing, but I can’t help that i’m not good enough. People keep leaving me, so it’s okay.
I need to start building walls. I need to just find the one who will not leave me.